Sunday, March 7, 2010

Mark (Alberta, Canada)

I really cannot call myself an Atheist nor even Agnostic. Some days I am both; some days I am neither; some days I am practically Christian; some days I am Buddhist or Humanist or Spiritualist or perhaps just a Maybe-ist.

Fact is, I am just me and that is the only label I require.

What was the final "trigger" that convinced you to become an atheist?
The final "trigger" or "moment of truth" for me — and will always be — waking up one morning, ten days into hormone therapy (boosting testosterone), and realizing that my chronic depression was gone. Eighteen years of prayer and tears to Jesus yielded zero results, yet one trip to the doctor and a blood-test later and I was well and truly saved.

I did not become a non-believer in that wakeful moment, but I became a very angry, very confused questioner. That wakeful moment shattered my faith. That wakeful moment began a four-month excursion to attempt to discover a "reason", a hope that I hadn't wasted eighteen years of my life. That wakeful moment was the end of my old life and the first tentative, shaking steps into a brighter future than I imagined.

I lost all and gained more.

How did your decision to become an atheist affect your life?
March 10, 2010 will mark my third anniversary of "normal" life; a life that continues to grow in depth, in scope, in love, in hope. I will never regret leaving my old way of living and the regrets over the hurt I caused to others slowly recedes as each year passes on. I cannot change what was, only what is.

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